Four fun shows coming up, and a healthy variety in each of them. I decided after a rather intense session of venting into the empty dissolve of the internet that I’d push it to the bottom and just keep the vital information first. You can thank me later.

First up on Wednesday, April 14th is an appearance at the newly launched Wildcard Wednesdays at the Cardinal. My role there has gradually diminished over the past few months, and I’m ok with that -which, surprisingly, feels weird to say. Not sure how these nights tend to go, but I’m expecting a mild affair with music to match. I have yet to see the official plan for the night, so we’ll see what the final line up entails.

Next up on Thursday, April 22nd is my regular residency, Mentality, at Natt Spil downtown. As we move closer to summer, the music has been becoming more energized earlier. Moving from ambient electronica and mellow downtempo I find the atmosphere taking me into deep house and beyond more often. Maybe I’m just getting comfortable enough to explore further reaches of the sonic spectrum. Either way, it’s a thrilling ride.Beyond that are two shows that I’m looking forward to as something I don’t get a chance to do very often, if ever. On Tuesday, April 27th I’ll be opening for psychadelic and jamtronica producer Ott from the UK. A rare opportunity for me, I’m super excited to share the stage with someone who has ventured into some truly expressive and creative musical territory and has enjoyed much success in doing so. This one is at Majestic Theater on King St. in Madison. ooh, I hope my name makes it up on the Marquee! It’s a Tuesday though, so I won’t hold my breath.

On May 1st 1 I’ll be revisiting a piece of my own history and spinning at a massive rave, straight old school style. While the music may not be from days gone by it will be interesting to immerse myself in an experience and vibe that I haven’t been a part of for many years now. This will pretty much kick off the summer and I’m more ready for it than I can remember ever being at this point. It’s called Spring Fever, and it’s at a waterpark resort up in the Dells. Formula for winning if I ever saw it.

So that’s it. plenty of fun stuff coming up, and each one a little different. This is definitely the fulfilling side of DJing, and I’m still honored to be a part of it every time I set a needle in the groove, and look up to the dance floor with a smirk, knowing I’m about to make smiles uncontrollable and bodies enthusiastically take their owners for a ride.

foreword, afterwards

I’m in a strange place these days. The turbulent spring weather only amplifies the swirling emotional gales that wash me back and forth under the bitter sting of cold rain. Moving constantly through the stages of grief and loss, life has become like living with a terminally ill family member, knowing time is near. Gray. Distant. Clouded like looking through a rain dotted window. Lonely. The uncertain knot in my stomach has become a contemptible companion these last few years. Like a prison guard that keeps me company despite my fervent dreams of murderous rage. I hate the feeling and immediately notice when I find respite from it, aware and reluctant but still counting on its return for something familiar. Some mutated sense of security. When I see a door open my muscles light with fire at the chance to lunge with all the vengeance in my heart while my brain shrieks hideous doubt, paralyzing me completely with a nervous confusion. Just hold on. Wait. It could change. Instead the moment passes, the door clicks quietly shut and I lay back in the cell of my mind. The process begins again, but I am hopeful. I can open my own door. I can leave if I want to, and step out into the bright world I know is there. Endless possibilities begin to materialize in my field of vision and a strange sense of relief washes over me. Colors flow back into the window of my world, and peace settles onto me like a soft blanket. I’ll wait. I know change begins with me. I’ll just wait here, until I’m sure. Until the doubt has passed. The knot returns again to help me pass the time.

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